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https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6425f4bd7955845b779e6087/19e33414-980f-4212-9250-cd10598b5783/Ceremonies-20.jpg Meandering https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6425f4bd7955845b779e6087/53b3e2dc-e973-4731-8482-55fc3ee1cecd/Ceremonies-21.jpg Meandering https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6425f4bd7955845b779e6087/c5a1415e-681d-4376-b5af-78e9e8e83ab4/Ceremonies-22.jpg Meandering https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6425f4bd7955845b779e6087/fa5abb3f-8a62-4e32-a6d2-f97d622025be/Ceremonies-23.jpg Meandering https://www.abulidze.com/topeng-hidden-pain daily 0.75 2024-06-06 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6425f4bd7955845b779e6087/867566a9-d855-49b6-b5db-fb53dbb1e3f1/_ANA0448.jpg https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6425f4bd7955845b779e6087/9cd89a4e-f53d-4886-a4d5-3f106c48252c/Portraits+6x6+Nana+Abulidze-1.jpg Topeng - Hidden Pain "My mother was abused by her ex-husband and could not take care of me, my brother, and my little sister. She took us to an orphanage where I was bullied and hit by much older boys and guys. I got brought to a safe house because my mom cooks there. Message to other women: Learn to be grateful and support each other." https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6425f4bd7955845b779e6087/3cfbe440-dd2e-4bb4-80cb-5dc1dcf5d194/Portraits+6x6+Nana+Abulidze-2.jpg Topeng - Hidden Pain "The birth of a baby girl is often met with the dismissive remark, "Oh, it's a baby girl? It's OK, you'll have another boy later," even before the mother's stitches have healed. Marriage is considered a societal obligation in Bali. Choosing not to marry is seen as a mistake. However, there needs to be more preparation and guidance for married life. Couples are often left to navigate the complexities of marriage without proper education or support, repeating past mistakes." https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6425f4bd7955845b779e6087/ba838dad-1d0a-44ca-9a6b-207de36039bb/nana+abulidze+masked+faces+topeng.jpg Topeng - Hidden Pain "I am originally from Manado. I was invited by my friend, who used to work at the safe house in Bali. When I was in the safe house, I was surprised by the background of the children, and in short, I became excited to help/serve in the Safehouse because I also had experienced trauma that was almost the same as these children. I was sexually abused by someone I knew well in 2013, traumatized by men who were older than me. Everything will be beautiful in its time.  Be a blessing and a way of recovery for other women." https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6425f4bd7955845b779e6087/bfe4b882-e6ad-4f15-875e-fdbeb35e2010/Portraits+6x6+Nana+Abulidze-3.jpg Topeng - Hidden Pain "I endured a harrowing two-year journey marked by abuse and manipulation within my relationship. I found myself financially depleted, sacrificing my own needs to fulfill the extravagant demands of my ex-boyfriend and his family, driven by fear of his threats. The abuse escalated from visual to physical violence, with instances of strangulation, assault with objects, and destruction of property. Trapped by my circumstances and battling mental illnesses, I suffered in silence, unable to confide in my loved ones." https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6425f4bd7955845b779e6087/237f416b-f233-422c-8757-bd1ba552e429/Portraits+6x6+Nana+Abulidze-4.jpg Topeng - Hidden Pain “My father is a security and works all day, so he left me and my siblings with his sister's family, who abused us and were violent towards us. Father found out and took us to Bali with him. My neighbors worked as sex workers. When my father found out that I got involved with guys while he was at work and I was unattended, he took me to the safe house. Message to other women: Facing this life is not easy, but just have good spirits…" https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6425f4bd7955845b779e6087/c69de4fc-ea13-4d34-8e99-1c0b8f6d8920/Portraits+6x6+Nana+Abulidze-5.jpg Topeng - Hidden Pain "I was in a physically abusive marriage that led to hip surgery and other scars. Like many of us (myself included), starting a new relationship often comes with struggles related to guilt, fear, and insecurities—internal or external. Nevertheless, it's crucial to continue moving forward and strive to learn how to forgive ourselves for past mistakes, as they do not define who we are. What truly defines us is what we do today." https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6425f4bd7955845b779e6087/7395e416-6fa1-45bc-9834-852e73e445c4/Portraits+6x6+Nana+Abulidze-6.jpg Topeng - Hidden Pain "I experienced violence from the families I stayed with. My mother died, and my father was a heavy drinker, so I was handed over to another family. Experiencing violence from one family to another, again and again, brought me here, to a safehouse. Follow your dream and just be yourself, get an education." https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6425f4bd7955845b779e6087/4b0f83da-6bcb-47ba-8491-c4b4da2d5c9c/Portraits+6x6+Nana+Abulidze-7.jpg Topeng - Hidden Pain "When I was in kindergarten, my father passed away, and my family faced financial struggles. To help make ends meet, I assisted my mother in selling cakes. I often received hand-me-down uniforms from my cousin, and any new clothes had to be earned through competition prizes. Throughout elementary and high school, I relied on winning competitions to afford school uniforms, as my parents couldn't purchase them, the prize was a trophy as well as uniform and stationeries from elementary to high school. I have a brother, but he was never required to do so, and indeed, when I was a child, I was never angry; later, when I was a teenager, I felt jealous because my brother could buy everything even though my parents were poor. But the older I get, the more I realize that my mother not only treated my brother special but also treated me differently. The important thing is not to give up, according to me." https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6425f4bd7955845b779e6087/9d37ff94-a9ab-4d3b-8c6e-46483806fa0f/Portraits+6x6+Nana+Abulidze-8.jpg Topeng - Hidden Pain "I was adopted and lived in a patriarchal family where the brothers have full rights to control the sisters, even if it has to use violence by slapping the sisters who are considered not obedient. I experienced harassment, molestation, and sexual abuse by one of my brothers and his friend. I have never spoken with my family about it, but I will do whenever I get back home. Accept yourself, love yourself, prioritise yourself." https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6425f4bd7955845b779e6087/ef6f6037-881b-4c8c-9cb4-617e8eb98a3f/nana+abulidze+masked+faces+topeng-2.jpg Topeng - Hidden Pain She was brave and kind enough to agree to participate in this story. She also had a traumatizing background that she was not ready to share with everyone yet, but she wanted to help others come out and stand up for themselves and their voices. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6425f4bd7955845b779e6087/6aa86dd6-d363-4ce0-8cc5-aa29c2ea00cd/Portraits+6x6+Nana+Abulidze-10.jpg Topeng - Hidden Pain "My parents abandoned me; my father returned to his country, Bangladesh, and my mother became a migrant worker in Malaysia. Unfortunately, I became a street kid, and a woman found me and made me work. In child labor, I worked in a laundromat where I was molested by men and also taken to the rice fields when I was 12 y.o. Police found me, took me from the lady, and put me under government protection in a safe house because I was/am underage. I've been here for three years. "be an amazing woman who can care for herself, be independent, and think positively."   https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6425f4bd7955845b779e6087/394824f0-a12d-4405-a0f8-17de79ea6582/Portraits+6x6+Nana+Abulidze-9.jpg Topeng - Hidden Pain "My family neglected me. My father abused me, and my mother left. I got involved with gangs and, in promiscuity, got  sexually harassed by friends. I got pregnant, but at 3.5 months, my boyfriend forced me to drink something that caused the miscarriage. The government took me to a Safehouse last year, and has been here since then. Trust your gut and don't be around negativity, protect children, and share experience and knowledge." https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6425f4bd7955845b779e6087/debff277-2756-4be3-9852-bcaba448b88e/Portraits+6x6+Nana+Abulidze-11.jpg Topeng - Hidden Pain "My mother died when I was 14, and since then, my dad was raping me until I was 18. I have two little siblings who were also physically abused by him. He told me I should continue doing this with him even after getting married. I was scared, not knowing what to do, and when I got older and realized that it was not OK, I told my neighbor, and she reported about it. My father committed suicide before being charged. My relatives were upset and blamed me for not telling them. Be brave to speak up." https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6425f4bd7955845b779e6087/7a18aa9f-cb52-478b-8c1a-396902e17826/Portraits+6x6+Nana+Abulidze-12.jpg Topeng - Hidden Pain "I got married when I was 15 to a 21-year-old guy. Unfortunately, he abused me during our 1-year marriage. I reported him, got divorced, and he is in prison. Now I live with my parents and am going back to school. Keep your self-esteem."